February 18, 2010
Dear God,

I’m writing because I am having trouble with something.  It’s called a head cold and it’s a mother fucker.  I’m pretty sure that if any military could figure out how to weaponize a head cold, they could win almost any conflict (war).  I digress.  I find myself sitting on a couch, rather slouchily, with a tissue stuffed up my nostril to keep the nasties from flowing out.  Here is a question, why is it that one of my nostrils can be completely stuffed up and the other one can be completely open, and then 4 hours later the reverse has happened?  I am confused by this and no one has ever cared to explain this phenomena to me.  I went out and bought Emergen C and Tylenol  Cold, the good kind that you have to sign for at a pharmacy in Virginia so that they can prevent you from making crystal meth…  I would pay anything to not have a cold.

xoxo,

Pat